New Year's Resolutions Are A Trap

Why right now is the best time to make lasting change.

Everyone likes a tidy little “Day 1,” and January 1st of a new year always sees scores of social media posts and “New Year, New Me,” mantras floated around. Yoga studios and meal delivery services announce discounted memberships and the new, scuff-free running shoes you got for Christmas beckon you to get to making good on your pledge to better health. You’ve announced that you’re doing an alcohol-free month, you say you’re ready to get serious about your goals (and even mean it) but come mid January your motivation has been replaced with exhaustion and you find yourself back in survival mode. The resolutions have gone out the window and you join the chorus of Instagram users laughing about how they only made it halfway through Dry January. Why does this happen? Because New Year’s resolutions are a trap.

First, we need to look at the set-up. Beginning sometime around now (end of October/early November) we start getting inundated with holiday cheer. The weather cools off and out come the fuzzy sweaters and comfy boots. The message from advertisers takes a sharp turn to magic holiday moments, and celebrating another year passed. The shit show of approved over-consumption begins and the work parties and Friendsgivings show up in all their gluttonous glory. We start to hear our friend’s encouragement, “Come on, it’s the holidays,” and “Drinks don’t count on Thanksgiving.” By the end of December we’ve stuffed ourselves to the brim with cookies and seven layered dips and egg nog and celebration so we welcome the break that we’ve been promising ourselves. New Year’s Eve comes and goes and we wake up with a day off from work and the repercussions of a two month bender.

When we try to start a new routine, detox our bodies, or kick off a new lifestyle after going harder in the other direction than we have all year, we are doomed to fail. The “last hurrah” tactic actually does not work. What it does is send us into a deeper depression come January and much bigger hole to climb out from. There are industries that make the majority of their yearly revenue from that three month swing, betting on our overindulgence and coinciding guilt followed by the attempts at damage control. It’s a textbook setup. If you are serious about making lasting changes in your life…the time is right now.

Here’s the thing. In order for sobriety or any new healthy lifestyle shift to stick, we have to be ready for it. Meaning, we have to understand what is required to be successful at it. The idea that we could just set some arbitrary date in the future upon which we will stop doing (insert toxic habit) and actually be able to follow through with that commitment is ludicrous. It goes against the whole human psyche. We need incentive. We need real tangible evidence that the new behavior will benefit us. We need trial and error. We need realistic parameters. We need mental clarity and vision. There is no mental clarity after two months of drinking like it’s the last time. What we’ve done is thoroughly and systematically wipe out all of our motivation and replace it with doom and gloom. Whereas if we implement our new intentions now, before the holiday season kicks into full gear, and are able to check off booze-free milestones through the end of the year, we are setting ourselves up to be unstoppable once January rolls around.

There is a certain aura of transformation that surrounds this time of year. There’s some astrology to it, there’s some weather to it, but let’s just say for the sake of not alienating anyone here-there’s no better fucking time to quit a thing. Understanding what is required to be successful at something is understanding what needs to be prioritized or sacrificed. For example, it may not be a great idea for you to go to the company Christmas party where there is an open bar. It may not be smart to bring a bottle of wine to Thanksgiving dinner if you do not wish to drink it. It may be wise to avoid that one friend’s New Year’s Eve party where every flat surface in their house is dusted with cocaine. Just sayin. Be careful what you are romanticizing around this time of year. Are you actually sad to miss homegirl’s get together with the notoriously terrible food and sleazy boyfriend? Or are you falling victim to the worldwide campaign of “More is merrier.”

I think what keeps a lot of people holding out for that January redemption is this FOMO fueled by nostalgia and simply how it’s always been done. Traditions are wonderful but they can keep us stuck. No one said traditions couldn’t evolve. I mean I used to have a tradition of opening up my presents on Christmas morning in nothing but my Minnie Mouse underwear while my mom got it all on VHS, but I’ve evolved. I’ve created new traditions. Sometimes we fear our choice to let go of old habits will hurt others. That is a necessary fear to face. The alternative is to keep them stuck right beside you. In the spirit of togetherness and gratitude-you never know what kind of impression showing up to the annual party with alcohol-free wine or simply leaving before the obligatory Fireball shots will leave on someone you love.

If you’re someone who’s been seriously considering sobriety, or wrestling with the feeling that you just need to uplevel your health game altogether, I hope you will consider starting now. Now is always the best time. Don’t leave your health or mental stability in the hands of a far off day next year. Plus think about how incredible it will feel to ring in the new year as a person who’s two months sober, or two months into any meaningful change. New Year’s resolutions are tailor made for people who want an excuse to quit, a marketing tactic that’s worked for decades. I say we start calling them “November Nonnegotiables,” the alternative for people who want an excuse to start. Make your list, check it twice, and come January 1st it’ll feel so damn nice.