Kristen your writing gives me chills! I look forward so much to your musings. I too struggle with intrusive thoughts and the consequential frustration of, “but why on Earth can’t I just ruminate on wonderful things.” I’m in LA, channeling Joan today 😎
I really enjoyed this piece. The way you weave together the drive, literature, fear, and sobriety feels very honest and reflective. It reads like a quiet conversation with yourself on the road.
The part that stayed with me the most was your idea that the real snake is actually fear. That image is powerful. In my experience alcohol often pretends to protect us from fear for a while, but it never really removes it — it only delays the moment when we finally have to face it.
I’ve been sober for 13 years now, and something similar happened to me over time. Many of the things I once feared slowly lost their power once alcohol disappeared from my life. Not because life suddenly became easy, but because my mind finally became clear enough to deal with reality instead of escaping it.
I also liked your reflection about writing and whether it would exist without the darker parts of life. I often wonder the same thing. Sometimes it feels like the process of recovery itself becomes a kind of creative force.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and vulnerable piece.
Do you feel that sobriety changed the way you experience fear or anxiety over time as well?
This is lovely, the stuff of want. I now wish I had the staying power to read and explore Didion. Instead I will forward to my ex-wife. And only the gods might know why you feel your body has ... oh I can't remember the exact wording.
Wow Kristen, your writing is so original. I look forward to reading your next writing! ❤️
Thank you so much, Erin :)
Kristen your writing gives me chills! I look forward so much to your musings. I too struggle with intrusive thoughts and the consequential frustration of, “but why on Earth can’t I just ruminate on wonderful things.” I’m in LA, channeling Joan today 😎
Thank you, Bridget! That means a lot :) Our brains are odd little things, huh? Glad you are channeling Joan today. 😎
❤️ hope you get the part!
🙏🏻🙏🏻
SO. GOOD.
Thank you sister ❤️❤️
This really stayed with me.
The way you describe fear — not as something out there, but something that lives in the mind — feels very real.
I’m 13 years sober, and I’ve learned something similar:
the things I was trying to escape were never as dangerous as the way I was thinking about them.
And alcohol just made that loop stronger.
Really powerful piece.
I really enjoyed this piece. The way you weave together the drive, literature, fear, and sobriety feels very honest and reflective. It reads like a quiet conversation with yourself on the road.
The part that stayed with me the most was your idea that the real snake is actually fear. That image is powerful. In my experience alcohol often pretends to protect us from fear for a while, but it never really removes it — it only delays the moment when we finally have to face it.
I’ve been sober for 13 years now, and something similar happened to me over time. Many of the things I once feared slowly lost their power once alcohol disappeared from my life. Not because life suddenly became easy, but because my mind finally became clear enough to deal with reality instead of escaping it.
I also liked your reflection about writing and whether it would exist without the darker parts of life. I often wonder the same thing. Sometimes it feels like the process of recovery itself becomes a kind of creative force.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and vulnerable piece.
Do you feel that sobriety changed the way you experience fear or anxiety over time as well?
This is lovely, the stuff of want. I now wish I had the staying power to read and explore Didion. Instead I will forward to my ex-wife. And only the gods might know why you feel your body has ... oh I can't remember the exact wording.