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Alicia Brown's avatar

I read a book (I think it was Quit Like a Woman?) that made the point that AA is very shame-based, rooted in religion and the patriarchy, and therefore it's no wonder that it doesn't inspire the joyful alternative lifestyle you were looking for. I'm so glad you found it!

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Joshua James's avatar

The same month you stopped drinking (Feb '20), I had my last drink before checking into a 12-step-based, Native American-focused inpatient treatment center—aka rehab—in San Francisco. (I did a 2.5 year stint of not drinking). I was there for 3.5 months, and soon after learning the language of AA, I let my counselor know I was very interested in NON–12-step programs, and he let me search. I found SMART Recovery and already knew about Ben’s Friends (which is awesome—for food and beverage folks who struggle with the sauce and the substances). I know I didn’t want to impound negative labels into my head and body, and I definitely didn’t believe there was only one way of getting sober. I saw in the next sober living house I was in for six months that all 28 people there had a different story, reason, and experience with alcohol and drugs. Some were totally OK with non alcoholic beer, and most I would definitely not recommend non alcoholic beer to. I’m glad I learned the way of AA and even led weekly meetings, but I know it wasn’t the one for me.

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